Wednesday, July 27, 2011

No I will not make my own almond butter

I was at Trader Joe's which recently opened a store about five blocks from where I live. I HEART trader joe's and now there is one super close which is super awesome. Anyway, we desperately needed groceries. We were down to eating pasta with canned tomato sauce and feeding the baby only milk because we had no proper solids about. So after a long day at work and then coming home to play with the family, feeding baby, making dinner, and doing the dishes I headed out to TJ's at around 9 pm. The hubbie was home watching the baby monitor doing laundry and law school stuff.

I am comparing the sodium levels of almond butters versus peanut butters because I want to make some sort of almond butter ball thingies for the mini-me to feed herself. She has no teeth but really really wants to feed herself and I am constantly looking for more mushy but not too mushy things I can give her.

While I am doing this some a random guy in his late 40s comes up to me and says "you know it is really easy to make your own almond butter?". My response is along the lines of I have no time. He then proceeds to tell me again in more detail about how easy it is and doesn't take that long to make. This whole time I am not making eye contact, trying to read labels, and give the signal of GO AWAY. Again I tell him I don't have time to be making my own fucking almond butter (I didn't swear but in hindsight perhaps I should have).
Seriously, it is almost 10 pm on a Monday night and I am grocery shopping. Obviously I don't have time to be making my own god damn almond butter. Yes, I realize it would be cheaper and *maybe* healthier but what the fuck dude? I don't want to discuss recipes right now. Again I tell him that I have a baby, work, and have no time. Which prompts him to share with me how now he makes his own pancakes for his kids who are 11, 8 , and 5 (side note : when did 3 kids become the norm?) with wheat germ, and almond flour, and some other shit. At this point I am actually walking away while he follows me and continues to talk to me.

I realize I live in a small town and usually I enjoy random conversations with people as part of the charm of living in a small friendly town. But there is a time and place people. When I tell you I have no time and the grocery store is almost closing... take the hint, leave me the fuck alone! This was some serious mansplaining shit and I wish I had had the energy to call him on it instead of just politely ignoring him and walking away.


  1. I might have lost my temper with that. But maybe not. I sort of felt the same way about people who would tell me how easy it was to make my own baby food, and I never lost it at any of them. I had many rants in my head about it, though. The ingredients on the little jars of baby food we used were always some mix of fruit and/or veggies and water. Which is what I would have put in any home made stuff. So why should I care who pureed them? Particularly since we aren't really hurting for money at all. The jars of baby food seemed like a good deal to me- I gave the store some money, and they gave me some time, in a jar.

  2. Oh man, I bet he was lonely.

    re: Cloud's baby food experiences... I counter with, "Actually... did you know that you don't HAVE to use baby food at all? Such a waste of time..." People tend to learn not to lecture me. I can out-lecture pretty much anyone. With SCIENCE too.

    Though with the sleep stuff I just smile wanly because I don't want to get into that discussion.

  3. you sound like a total biatch