I will not fix your problems for you for free

I recently signed up for an internet service, I don't want to go into details cause it is kind of personal. Anyway, their interface totally sucks ass! Which considering that I am paying $40/month for it is rather ridiculous. So after attempting to use the interface for about 20 minutes to no avail I sent the following email to their customer service:


I just signed up and your website totally sucks. I am connected over a stable ethernet connection and your interface window crashes every time I search for a *blank* or try to enter one. If this is the level of service I can expect I will be canceling tomorrow.


I received the following email back:


Dear PQA,

We appreciate your patience while we work to find the cause of the problem you are experiencing. Would you mind answering the questions below so that we may help you to resolve this issue?

1. What error messages you receive, if any? Can you paste them into this message?

2. On what page or step in the process do you get them? What did you click on to get the message? If you were using the blank program, what did you enter?

3. If you use Windows with IE8 or higher, have you tried using the Compatibility View button?

4. Do you have a Mac or a PC?

5. What operating system you are using (Windows XP, etc)

6. What browser are you using? (Chrome/IE/Firefox)

7. What version of the browser is it? (Under Help/About)

8. Are you accessing the Internet on your work or home computer?

9. Does your office network or home computer have a firewall?

10. Do you have Zone Alarm, Zone Alarm Pro, Norton Internet Security, or any other similar computer protection software on your computer?

Your response to this e-mail will surely help us get a better understanding of the problem you are experiencing.

Here is the thing, I am PAYING for this service and they want me to spend time helping them de-bug it. To that I say F-U! If I am paying you, I am NOT going to spend time helping you fix the broken service that I am paying for. I reported the bug, for that you should be grateful, beyond that... hells to the NO! So I sent this email in response:

To whom it may concern:

I am happy to answer your questions. I estimate it will take at least 30-45 minutes to do so, as I currently make $20/hr I estimate doing so will cost me $10-20. Once you refund this money to me, I will happy to help you solve the problems with YOUR service. However, seeing as I am the one paying you for the service I feel no obligation to help you fix the bugs in your system.

Sincerely,

PQA

Too snarky?